a progress

　　　Because the request of reading news of Freshman English, I take a look at the headline of BBC, NCC, and New Your Times. Before, I seldom read English news for I always think that I still didn’t have the ability to understand the whole story. But now, I start to believe that I, just like other, can also do it. It’s really difficult for me to feel that I can’t match up on other classmates; especially some of them are joining clubs, activities, and also have boyfriend. Furthermore, after having the dinner with my adviser, I heard many gossip that about half of my classmates have a good connection. Thus, they can go abroad whenever they want to. They are under a better surrounding because their parents are also the teachers, the professors, even the chief. They can learn English from their parents, and also guide by, ask question to their parents.

　　　Some of their parents are the boss of a company, or the soldiers, who can afford their children’s tuition or even hire a tutor for them. I know it’s unfair for classmates because maybe some of them are also learn English on their own, or they make a lot of efforts on learning. And now it’s just the time of fruitfulness. I do not complain about my family, my parents, or my backgrounds, either. But I am disappointed. I hate that what I can do is to attribute all the great language skills of my classmates to their backgrounds. I hate that what I feel after hearing such things is only to sigh, but not urge myself that I need to work hard. I hate, hate, hate the god damn differences between the same age, same birth place Taiwan, and the same education.

　　　Let me review, ten reading notes, two facilitate group presentation, and the project from Freshman English, two responses and two papers from Introduction to Western Literature. There are also one presentation from Rhetoric and oral training class respectively, two movies and three to four homework from Introduction to Linguistic. After hundreds of thousands of searches, googles, discussions, and preparations, do I make the progress? I don’t know. How terrible it is, to feel that I don’t know whether I make the progress or not? Sadness, frustration, depression, is not to mention. But what’s harder to afford is that my mood is just like a curve, arising when I thought that I am progressing then falling down when I know the scores I got, know the truth is that I am still far from others.

　　　But what worse it can be? People won’t stay at the depression all the time, of course I need to brace up and perk up. So after reading three pieces of news, I decide to believe that I can do others can eventually. Maybe reading news is just the beginning, but at last it makes me want to continue my work, my job, my enthusiastic about what I loved, English. And finally, I can gain what I dream for, maybe also just like what they dream for a long time ago.